helloween

I have the worst time with halloween. This is likely because there is no episode of the West Wing that addresses the holiday. I've looked. I've said I'll go to a halloween party this year, which was my first mistake, and so I now find myself at the yearly heart-pounding crossroads: what the hell am I going to be?
There are many elements about me that cause this deathly fear, not least is how ridiculous a 6 foot tall bumble bee appears; nevertheless, let's examine another of my contentions with el dio de me muerto -- The sluttiness of the costumes. I know this may be a hackneyed topic, but I have recently been made startlingly aware of just how far the skank factor can be taken on halloween. We received an ad for a costume store in the neighborhood, and here are some of the more unique examples of what i saw in the way of women's options: A virtual menagerie of lewdly rendered polyester.
Of course there's the typically slutty: nurse, playboy bunny, devil, etc, and the animal slutty: bunnies, kitties, puppies, butterflies, and something that looks strangely like a skunk. Also, there's the usual professional-looseness: Skanky military woman (ha...yeah right), doctor, chauffer, slutty baseball player (ironically, none of these professions are exactly dominated by women...maybe the cross-dressing adds kink)
But the following are true gems:
Host of historical whores: Cleopatra, Pocahontus, Florence Nightingale, Trojan warrior woman wearing less than Brad Pitt.
The Unbelievably specific skank: bavarian barmaid pre-WWII, vampiress who seems to only drink bunny blood, Gothic-neo-flapper-animagus who turns into a bat.
In the midst of the photo of all these women, there is a man wearing a banana suit. yep.

Anyway, my primary point is, HELP! I need some genuine suggestions. Thanks.